Alexis Irazoque, M.S., CCC-SLP
It is true that autistic children play differently than neurotypical children, but different doesn’t mean wrong. These differences are usually related to communication, sensory preferences, flexibility, and social interaction. However, many autistic children enjoy play just as much as their peers, even if their play looks different! There isn't one “right” way to play, and understanding your child's unique play style can help you better support their development. In this guide, you'll learn about common differences in autistic play. We’ll also debunk common myths, share practical ways to encourage connection through play, and explain when speech or occupational therapy may help.
Key takeaways
Autistic children enjoy play, but their play may develop or look different from that of neurotypical children.
Differences in play are often related to communication, sensory preferences, social interaction, or repetitive interests, rather than a lack of imagination or enjoyment.
Following your child's interests and joining their play are some of the best ways to build connection and encourage new skills.
Speech and occupational therapy can support play development while respecting each child's unique strengths and learning style.
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Screener for childrenDo autistic children play differently?
Yes, autistic children often play differently than neurotypical children. For example, they may:
Play alone more often
Focus deeply on their favorite interests
Explore toys in unique ways
These differences are a natural part of autism. They don't mean a child isn't learning, having fun, or connecting with others.
Play develops differently for every child, whether they’re autistic or not. Some autistic children love pretend play. Others prefer building, sorting, collecting, or doing sensory activities. Some enjoy playing with other children, while others prefer playing next to other children (parallel play) or by themselves.
What we now know is that autistic play is meaningful, even when it doesn’t look the same as neurotypical play. So try not to focus on whether a child’s play is “normal.” Instead, look at whether they’re engaged, learning, and enjoying themselves.
Autism is a difference in development, not a disorder. Learn about some of the differences in autistic people and how to support and affirm those differences.
What does autistic play look like?
There isn't one way autistic children play. In fact, play can vary just as much among autistic children as it does among neurotypical children.
Still, researchers have found several patterns that are more common in autistic children. Understanding these differences can help parents recognize that many behaviors are developmentally appropriate and often have an important purpose. Research supports taking a strengths-based view of autistic play. This means seeing these differences simply as other ways of learning and interacting with the world, not as something that’s “wrong” or that needs to be”fixed.”
Let’s take a closer look at common differences in how autistic children play.
1 Prefer to play alone
It’s completely normal for young children to spend time playing by themselves. Autistic children may choose independent play more often, especially when they’re focused on a favorite activity or need a break from interacting with other people.
You may also notice that parallel play and autism go hand in hand. Parallel play is when children play alongside one another without directly interacting. For example, two children might each build with their own blocks while sitting next to each other.
Parallel play is a normal stage of child development, and many autistic children continue to enjoy it beyond the toddler years. It gives them a chance to observe others, learn new skills, and feel connected, without the pressure of constant social interaction.
It’s important to remember that playing alone doesn’t mean a child doesn’t want connection. Many autistic children enjoy spending time with family members and other kids, but in ways that feel comfortable for them.
Play and social skills enable kids to communicate and build relationships. Here are the play skills to look for in kids ages 2-5, plus how OT can help.
2 Play may repetitive, but it’s still meaningful
Parents sometimes worry when they notice their child repeatedly spinning toy wheels, lining up cars, stacking objects, or watching the same part of a video over and over.
While repetitive play can be linked with autism, it often serves an important purpose. It may help children:
Learn how objects work
Practice new skills through repetition
Enjoy predictable routines
Explore patterns and details that interest them
Rather than interrupting your child’s repetitive play, try watching what they're learning from it. They may be exploring cause and effect, practicing problem-solving, or simply enjoying an activity that feels comforting and predictable.
The goal isn't to change how a child plays. Instead, we want to build on their strengths.
As your child becomes comfortable, you can gently expand their play, instead of trying to get them to play differently. For example, if they're spinning wheels on a toy car, you might spin the blade of a toy helicopter nearby. Or you can introduce simple language like "Round and round!"
"When we meet children where they are and join the type of play they naturally enjoy, we create more chances for communication, connection, and learning. The goal isn't to change how a child plays. Instead, we want to build on their strengths,” says Marina McKeown, M.Ed CCC-SLP, an Expressable speech-language pathologist.
Find out how to calm a dysregulated child, help a child with big emotions, and teach your child emotional regulation skills.
3 Imaginative play may develop differently
Imaginative (or pretend) play is when children use objects, actions, or ideas to represent something else. Feeding a stuffed animal, pretending a block is a phone, or acting out a trip to the grocery store are all examples.
Some autistic children develop pretend play later than other kids their age. Others enjoy pretend play, but it may look different. For example, they might:
Reenact favorite scenes from movies or books
Create highly detailed imaginary worlds based on their special interests
Prefer realistic pretend scenarios with clear rules
Repeat familiar pretend scenes rather than invent new ones
These are all forms of imaginative play! An autistic child’s creativity may be closely connected to their interests, routines, and preferred ways of understanding the world. Many autistic children also become wonderfully imaginative when adults join their interests, instead of trying to redirect them toward more traditional pretend play.
How does sensory play affect autistic children?
Many autistic children experience the world differently through their senses. They may be more sensitive (hypersensitive) or less sensitive (hyposensitive) to sounds, sights, textures, movement, taste, smell, or touch. These sensory preferences can affect the kinds of play a child enjoys.
That's why you may hear people talk about sensory play and autism together. McKeown explains, "Sensory play is any activity that engages one or more of the senses. It can help children explore their environment, regulate their emotions, and develop important learning skills."
For some autistic children, sensory play is simply fun. For others, it's a way to feel calm, organized, or alert. Some examples of sensory play include:
Playing with water, bubbles, or shaving cream
Digging in sand or bins or dry rice
Swinging, climbing, or jumping
Playing with PlayDoh or kinetic sand
Finger painting
Exploring textured toys or fabrics
Listening to music or experimenting with sounds
Playing with light-up or visually stimulating toys
It's important to remember that just because a child enjoys sensory play doesn't mean they’re autistic. And not every autistic child seeks out sensory experiences. Every child has their own unique sensory preferences.
As you play with your child, try thinking like a “sensory detective.” Look for patterns in what they enjoy, what they avoid, and what seems to make an activity more or less fun. Sometimes it's not the activity itself that's challenging, but a specific sensory part of it.
For example, your child may love splashing in water but become upset when their wet shirt sticks to their skin. In that case, the problem may not be water play; instead, it may be the feeling of wet clothing. A rash guard, swimsuit, or quick change into dry clothes afterward may help your child stay comfortable and continue playing.
These kinds of observations can help you better understand your child's sensory preferences and make play more enjoyable for everyone. Research shows that supporting a child’s sensory needs, rather than trying to get rid of them, can increase participation, learning, and engagement during play.
Problems with sensory processing and emotional regulation are often related in children. Here’s how occupational therapy can help.
Common myths about autistic play
Misunderstandings about autistic play are common. Let's look at a few myths and what research actually tells us.
Myth: Autistic children don't like to play.
Reality: Autistic children absolutely enjoy play.
Their play may look different than what adults expect, but that doesn't make it less meaningful. Some children enjoy collecting, building, exploring textures, or repeating favorite activities instead of playing traditional pretend games.
The goal isn't to judge whether play looks “normal.” It's to recognize that children can learn, have fun, and connect through many different kinds of play.
Myth: Playing alone means a child doesn’t want friends.
Reality: Many autistic children enjoy spending time with other people; they just interact differently.
Some children prefer parallel play or one-on-one interactions instead of large group games. Others need breaks from social interaction before they're ready to reconnect.
Relationships aren't measured by how often a child joins group play. They're built through meaningful, comfortable interactions that respect each child's communication style.
Myth: Repetitive play should always be stopped.
Reality: Repetitive play often serves an important developmental purpose.
Repeating actions can help children practice skills, understand how objects work, regulate their emotions, or simply enjoy a favorite activity. “Unless the behavior is unsafe or interferes with daily life, repetitive play doesn't usually need to be discouraged,” McKeown says. “Instead, adults can join the activity and gradually introduce small new ideas while respecting the child's interests.”
Myth: Autistic children don't have imagination.
Reality: Many autistic children are incredibly creative.
Their imagination may center around favorite characters, detailed facts, or specific interests. Some autistic kids create imaginary worlds, while others enjoy acting out familiar stories or routines.
How can you play with your autistic child?
You don't need expensive toys or special planned activities. The most meaningful play often starts by following your child's lead!
As occupational therapist A. Jean Ayres, who pioneered sensory integration theory, famously said, "Play is the child's work." The goal is to join your child in their play, rather than directing it.
1 Follow your child's interests
If your child loves trains, dinosaurs, numbers, or bubbles, start there.
Children are more likely to communicate and interact when they're playing with something they truly enjoy. Following their interests also shows that you care about what matters to them.
McKeown shares this example: “Instead of trying to stop your child from lining up toy cars, sit beside them and line up a few cars yourself. You can model simple language like ‘blue car,’ ‘my turn,’ or ‘ready, go!’”
Watch this quick video to see one of our speech therapists using this approach.
2 Join before you lead
It can be tempting to teach new skills right away, but connecting with your child comes first.
Watch what your child is doing. Imitate their actions, and let them see that you're interested. Once you've joined their play, you can introduce one small new idea at a time.
Here’s an example if your child is playing with toy animals:
Make a toy animal jump.
Pause and wait to see if your child responds.
Model a simple word or gesture (“The horse jumps!”)
Introduce a second toy into the activity.
These small changes help expand your child’s play without taking over.
3 Keep language simple
During play, less is often more. Instead of asking lots of questions, try making comments about what your child is doing.
For example:
"You're stacking blocks!"
"The bubbles are floating."
"The dinosaur is eating."
"Wow! That's a tall tower!"
This approach reduces pressure and gives children chances to communicate in their own way.
Here’s another quick video demo of this technique in action.
4 Respect your child’s sensory needs
If your child covers their ears during noisy toys or enjoys moving around, try making changes to fit their needs instead of pushing through discomfort.
McKeown recommends the following tips:
Lower background noise.
Play in a quieter room.
Give your child chances to move around and be active.
Choose toys with textures your child prefers.
Let your child take breaks when needed.
Children learn best when they feel safe, comfortable, and regulated.
Sensory issues in kids can make everyday sights, sounds, smells, textures, and movements feel overwhelming. Here’s how to reduce sensory issues at home.
5 Celebrate connection over “correct” play
Remember, there isn't one right way to play. Instead of focusing on whether your child uses toys exactly as intended, celebrate moments of shared attention, laughter, curiosity, problem-solving, and communication.
As McKeown explains: "Some of the biggest breakthroughs happen when adults stop trying to teach during every moment of play and simply become a playful partner. That's where connection and learning often begins."
When should you seek extra support for play differences?
Every child develops at their own pace, and play skills can vary widely. Differences in play alone don't mean a child needs therapy. However, it's worth talking with your pediatrician or a licensed speech-language pathologist (SLP) or occupational therapist (OT) if your child:
Rarely plays with toys or people
Has a hard time expressing their wants and needs during play
Becomes very upset by changes in play routines
Avoids most types of play because of sensory challenges
Struggles to participate in preschool or daycare activities
Isn't meeting other developmental milestones in addition to differences in play
Early support can help children build communication, social interaction, emotional regulation, and flexible play skills.
How speech and occupational therapy support play skills
Play is much more than having fun. It's how children build communication, social skills, problem-solving abilities, and independence. If differences in play make it harder for your child to participate in everyday activities, therapy can help them develop new skills while honoring their unique strengths and interests.
Speech and occupational therapists often work together because play supports so many areas of development.
For example, a speech therapist might help a child learn to take turns during a favorite board game or expand pretend play by modeling simple language. At the same time, an occupational therapist might help the child tolerate new textures during sensory play or feel more regulated so they can play with others.
Both therapists use play-based therapy, which means they teach new skills through activities that are meaningful and motivating for the child.
"Children learn best when therapy feels like play. We follow each child's interests, celebrate their strengths, and create chances for communication and connection during activities they already enjoy,” adds McKeown.
This child-led approach can work especially well for autistic children, who often communicate and engage most comfortably through their own interests.
As a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is join your child's world instead of trying to change it.
As one Expressable parent of an autistic child shared: “April is so kind and attentive. She always engages with my son based on his interests and vibes. Virtual services that keep a 3-year-old nonspeaking autistic child actively engaged are truly rare. We are so grateful.”
At Expressable, therapy isn't about changing the way autistic children naturally play. It's about building on the play they already enjoy to support their growth. By following each child’s interests, therapists can create meaningful opportunities for learning while respecting each child’s unique strengths and personality.
Personalized care for your child
We support autistic children for who they are and help them build new skills. Get matched with a licensed speech therapist today.
Get startedSupporting your autistic child’s unique way of playing
Whether your child enjoys lining up toys, building detailed creations, acting out favorite movie scenes, or spending hours exploring water or sand, these experiences all help them learn and connect. As a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is join your child's world instead of trying to change it.
However, if differences in play are making it harder for your child to communicate, interact with others, or participate in daily routines, support is available. Expressable's licensed speech-language pathologists and occupational therapists work with families through personalized, play-based online therapy that fits into everyday life.
Schedule an evaluation to learn whether speech or occupational therapy is the right next step for your child.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
Autism can affect how children interact with toys and other people during play. Some autistic children prefer independent or parallel play, enjoy repetitive activities, or have strong interests that shape their play. Others enjoy pretend play or playing with other children, but may do these activities differently than neurotypical children.
Yes, autistic children often play differently than neurotypical children, but every child is unique. Differences may include how they communicate during play, interact with others, use their imagination, or respond to sensory experiences. Different ways of playing are a natural part of autism. They don't mean a child isn’t learning or having fun.
Not by itself. Parallel play (when children play next to each another without directly interacting) is a typical stage of play development for toddlers. Some autistic children continue to prefer parallel play as they get older, but this behavior alone does not mean a child is autistic.
Many children begin simple pretend play between 18 and 24 months. More complex imaginative play develops during the preschool years. Autistic children may develop pretend play later, show it in different ways, or focus their imagination on favorite interests or familiar routines. There is a wide range of typical play development.
Lining up toys is a common way some autistic children explore patterns, organization, or repetition. It can also help children feel calm, practice new skills, or enjoy predictable routines. By itself, lining up toys is not necessarily a cause for concern, especially if your child also enjoys other types of play and continues developing new skills.
Sensory play includes activities that engage a child's senses, such as playing with water, sand, PlayDoh, textured materials, music, or movement. Many autistic children enjoy sensory play because it helps them explore, learn, and feel regulated. Sensory preferences vary widely, so the best activities depend on each child's needs and interests.
Not necessarily. Many autistic children enjoy playing on their own or alongside others without directly interacting. This can be a meaningful way for them to learn and recharge. If your child has a hard time communicating, joining family activities, or participating in everyday routines, talk with your pediatrician or a licensed speech therapist or occupational therapist. Your child may benefit from some extra support.
How Expressable Can Help
Concerned your child isn't reaching age-expected milestones? Looking for communication support from a professional? Expressable is a national online speech and occupational therapy practice serving children and adults. We treat all major areas of communication, feeding, and developmental skills, offer flexible hours including evenings and weekends, and accept most major health insurance plans. We’re proud to have earned more than 4,500 5-star reviews from our clients (4.83/5 average).
Our therapy model is centered on parent and caregiver involvement. Research proves that empowering caregivers to participate in their loved one’s therapy leads to better outcomes. That’s why we combine live, 1-on-1 speech and occupational therapy with personalized education and home practice activities for faster progress.
