Abby Barnes, M.S., CCC-SLP
Playing might seem natural, but there’s a process to how children learn to play and interact with others. Occupational therapy can help kids who need support developing these play and social skills.
Key takeaways
Play and social skills are major areas of child development that affect self-confidence, mental health, and participation in daily life.
Kids progress through certain stages of learning to play as they grow.
You can build play and social participation skills at home by following your child's interests and playing together often.
Signs that your child may need support include difficulty playing with toys, frustration during play, preferring to play alone, or difficulty starting play with others.
Occupational therapy is an excellent support for kids who are behind in play and social development.
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Get startedWhat are play and social participation skills?
Have you ever watched a child play with a toy, or watched a group of kids play together, and wondered how they knew what to do? Play and social participation are actually huge areas of child development. Play is how kids learn about their world, learn key concepts like cause and effect, and figure out how to interact with others.
When children are young toddlers, they play with toys and items on their own. Over time, they may start playing near other children. As their skills keep developing, they start to interact and play with other kids, learning how to take turns, talk together and problem solve, and make friends.
The typical progression of play development involves these play skills:
Solitary play up to 2 years old (playing alone)
Parallel play at 2-3 years old (playing next to others without interacting)
Associative play at 3-4 years old (some interaction with other kids; may share toys and items but not play together)
Cooperative play at age 4 and older (kids play together with shared goals and roles, pretending and making up storylines)
Keep your 2-year-old busy, entertained, and learning with these top toys recommended by speech therapists.
As kids grow more toward cooperative play, that’s when social skills become important. Children will learn skills such as:
Turn-taking (early turn-taking skills should start around 18-24 months)
Pretend play (begins around ages 2-3), which means using items in a symbolic way (such as using a hairbrush as a phone)
Imaginative play (begins around ages 3-4), which means acting out stories, such as playing restaurant or pretending to be a parent taking care of a baby
Why are play and social participation skills important?
Play and social skills are the foundation of communication, cognitive skills, and relationship building. These skills affect a child’s self-confidence, mental health, and ability to participate in daily routines and activities.
Think about it: When kids play with their parents, caregivers, and other children, they get the opportunity to pretend, learn, and practice social skills they’ll need as they get older. They learn to interact with other people, form friendships, and thrive in social settings.
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Signs of problems with play and social participation skills
If your child has a hard time with play or social skills, they might seem to have limited interest in toys or not know how to play with toys. They may want to play the same activity over and over. Or they may have problems with imaginative play once they’re old enough to be playing in this way.
Expressable occupational therapist Jillian Turner, OTD, OTR/L, explains, “When children struggle with play or social participation, it’s often not a lack of interest. It’s a difficulty with the underlying skills needed to engage, such as regulation, coordination, or understanding social interactions.”
A child who struggles with social interactions may:
Have limited joint attention
Have trouble taking turns or sharing
Avoid engaging with other children
Have trouble starting interactions with other children
Prefer to play alone
Show frustration during social situations or when losing a game
You might notice these signs at home, or you may hear about them from your child’s daycare provider or teachers. If your child isn’t playing at the typical level for their age, has trouble interacting with others, or often becomes frustrated with other kids, this is a sign that OT may be needed. Occupational therapy can be a big support for kids who have trouble with play or social skills.
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Find an OTHow to help your child develop play and social skills
When it comes to helping your child, it’s important to follow their lead. Find toys and activities they’re interested in and see what they do. Do they like to do puzzles? Do they love playing dress-up? Whatever their interest, encourage it! You can get involved, imitate what they’re doing, and look for chances to teach them new skills.
For example, you can practice taking turns by saying, “It’s your turn, you blow the bubbles!” and then, “Now it’s my turn to blow the bubbles!” Modeling the action yourself will help your child learn new concepts like turn-taking.
It’s important to follow your child’s lead when playing. Whatever their interest, encourage it!
Sometimes, kids may need help learning how to play with new toys and items. That’s OK! You can show them how to build with blocks, or how to pretend to use a toy doctor kit. Of course, make sure the toys you’re using are right for your child’s age.
Make playtime a part of your routine. Play with your child every day! The more they can connect with you and get familiar with these activities, the better.
If your child needs to work on socialization skills, there are many ways to encourage this. You can go to the park, playground, or other play areas to let them be around peers. Just remember to stay nearby and supervise them.
As kids get older, organized activities like sports, play groups, church groups, and school will be beneficial. They’ll have a chance to see the same children repeatedly and build friendships.
Turn-taking is a vital part of building strong social skills in young children. Learn some simple steps to help children learn to take turns.
How does OT help build play and social participation skills?
As Turner says, “Occupational therapy focuses on the underlying skills that make play possible, like sensory processing, motor planning, and emotional regulation, so children can engage more successfully with others.”
Occupational therapy starts with an evaluation. The therapist will assess your child’s play development, sensory processing, and social interaction. They’ll also talk with you about any concerns you have or behaviors you notice in your child.
From there, if OT is recommended, the therapist will create a treatment plan targeting specific, measurable goals that will help your child make progress. The plan may focus on:
Building age-appropriate play skills
Supporting sensory needs that affect the child’s ability to participate. For instance, sensory processing issues can make it hard for some kids to sit and pay attention to a game, or to tolerate busy places like playgrounds.
Practicing emotional regulation and ways to manage frustration, disappointment, or problems transitioning between tasks
Practicing turn-taking skills, sharing, and interaction with peers
Teaching parents and caregivers how to support their child at home
In addition to OT, speech therapy can be helpful. A speech therapist can help your child develop the communication skills needed for social interactions. Many children benefit from both types of therapy.
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What does virtual OT look like?
Online OT is done through secure video sessions with a licensed occupational therapist. A parent or caregiver attends sessions alongside their child, so they can learn techniques and exercises to practice at home.
Like in-person OT, online sessions are interactive and play-based. Your child might:
Play a game with a focus on turn-taking skills
Practice more imaginative play with toys
Work on sharing items during play routines
Discuss what they would say or do in a pretend scenario to invite a friend to play
Tips for supporting your child at home
If your child is struggling with play and social skills, there are some key things you can do to support them.
Create natural opportunities to practice. If your child needs to work on taking turns, find some natural ways to practice together. Maybe you both take turns stirring the batter when making cookies, or you take turns rolling out Play-Doh or throwing a ball.
Celebrate the small wins. When your child accomplishes something new—or simply gets closer to their goals—let them know you see how hard they’re working! Your praise and support can make a big difference.
Don’t put too much pressure on the situation. Kids can feel this. Your child will learn better when practice time feels relaxed and encouraging.
Find an occupational therapist for your child
If you’re thinking about OT and aren’t sure where to start, we’re here to . With the right support, your child can grow their play skills and feel more confident in social situations. Take the next step get matched with an occupational therapist.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
Play skills include solitary play (playing alone), parallel play (playing alongside other children), associative play (learning to share items with others), and cooperative play (kids playing together with shared roles and storylines). Play skills also include pretend play (for example, feeding pretend food to a doll) and imaginative play (for example, pretending to be a doctor taking care of a sick patient).
Pretend play is when a child uses items in a symbolic way. It’s when they learn that certain toys and items can represent something else. Maybe they use a hairbrush as a phone. Or they use a toy baby bathtub to wash a doll, even though they know it’s not real. Kids will start using items for a purpose, and over time they’ll become more imaginative, making up simple stories to act out.
Basic pretend play typically begins around ages 2 to 3. Toddlers at this age pretend to do simple tasks like talk on a phone or feed a baby doll. As they get closer to age 4 and beyond, this pretend play develops into making up storylines (imaginative play). Examples could be playing a firefighter who rescues someone, or playing school, where one person is the student and another is the teacher.
Children typically start to engage in imaginative play around ages 3 to 4. They pretend to act out more stories, such as pretending to be a parent taking care of lots of babies (dolls). Or maybe they pretend to run a restaurant and make food for others. Imaginative play typically has a few “steps” that are part of the storyline.
A child may need help with play skills if they don’t seem to enjoy toys or playing. They may want to only play with the same toys over and over. They may prefer playing alone or become frustrated when trying to interact with other children.
How Expressable Can Help
Concerned your child isn't reaching age-expected milestones? Looking for communication support from a professional? Expressable is a national online speech and occupational therapy practice serving children and adults. We treat all major areas of communication, feeding, and developmental skills, offer flexible hours including evenings and weekends, and accept most major health insurance plans. We’re proud to have earned more than 4,500 5-star reviews from our clients (4.83/5 average).
Our therapy model is centered on parent and caregiver involvement. Research proves that empowering caregivers to participate in their loved one’s therapy leads to better outcomes. That’s why we combine live, 1-on-1 speech and occupational therapy with personalized education and home practice activities for faster progress.
