Abby Barnes, M.S., CCC-SLP
At age 3, your child’s independence is growing! And with that independence comes many new skills. You may see your child playing more with other kids, learning to dress themselves, and using kids scissors and other utensils better. Occupational therapists (OTs) help toddlers and preschoolers meet developmental milestones related to fine motor, social, cognitive, sensory, and self-care skills. Here’s what to watch for in these core areas of development once your child turns 3.
Key takeaways
Occupational therapists can support children’s fine motor and visual skills, social and play skills, regulation and sensory skills, cognitive skills, and self-care skills.
Fine motor skills enable 3-year-olds to use their hands for tasks such as copying shapes, learning to draw, and using child scissors.
Social and play milestones are important as 3-year-olds make friends and interact with other children more often. These skills include taking turns during play and becoming more aware of others’ emotions.
Regulation and sensory milestones relate to how well a child tolerates different sensations or emotions.
Cognitive skills such as sorting, matching, and early understanding of numbers are emerging at age 3.
Self-care skills are important for growing independence. These include dressing, handwashing, and other daily hygiene tasks.
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Occupational therapy can help with several areas of childhood development in 3-year-olds:
Fine motor and visual motor skills
Social and play skills
Cognitive development
Regulation and sensory organization
Self-care
Fine motor and visual development is how kids use their hands and eyes together to interact with items and their environment. This might include opening containers, or holding utensils and crayons appropriately.
Social and play skills are how kids learn to engage with others, such as through simple games and play routines.
Cognitive growth includes problem-solving skills, matching and sorting abilities, and cause-and-effect understanding. Cognitive skills keep your child learning constantly.
Regulation and sensory organization is how kids respond to sensory input like touch, sound, movement, or visual stimuli. It also includes how well they deal with different emotions. Good regulation skills help kids handle transitions, new experiences, and day-to-day routines more easily.
Self-care relates to skills children start doing themselves as they become more independent, such as washing their hands, getting dressed, and using the toilet. This is how they learn to care for themselves.
See our other developmental milestone checklists for toddlers:
Is your 3-year-old's development on track? Learn the speech and language milestones to look for in your toddler and when speech therapy may be needed.
3-year-old fine motor and visual milestones
At 3 years old, there are many fine motor and visual skills you will start to notice in your child. These often include:
Copying a circle
Beginning to copy a cross shape
Drawing a person with at least two to three body parts
Building a tower of at least eight blocks
Stringing large beads on a string
Cutting little snips in paper with child scissors
Beginning to cut across a piece of paper (usually closer to age 4)
Holding a crayon with fingers instead of a fist
Opening easy containers like tupperware or bags with zippers
What to expect when parenting a 3-year-old, including how much they should be talking and tips for handling tantrums.
3-year-old regulation and sensory milestones
Once your child turns 3, certain tasks will typically become a little easier for them. They’re likely to tolerate more textures during play, such as grass, Play-Doh or slime, sticky hands from glue, or anything else that they can distinctively feel. They may not love every texture, but their response is likely to seem more tolerant.
They also will do better when transitioning from one activity to another. So if you say, “It’s time to go,” or “We’re all done coloring, it’s time to go outside,” you’ll probably get less of an emotional reaction.
Many 3-year-olds naturally find ways to calm themselves around their adult caregiver when needed. They may seek out hugs or cuddles, or want to stay somewhere quiet to help them calm down.
Another regulation skill to look for is your child’s ability to sit still for structured tasks. Whether they’re sitting during circle time at school, paying attention to a short TV show, or maybe just sitting better while you read them a book, this is a typical milestone reached at age 3.
A look at 3 scenarios that can lead to toddler meltdowns and tips for dealing with tough toddler behavior.
3-year-old cognitive milestone
Cognitive development is huge at age 3. Just like your 3-year-old is growing physically, so is their brain!
Your child should start to understand directions involving two or three steps. Examples might be “Go get your cup and bring it to the table,” or “Get your jacket, get your backpack, and go stand by the door.”
Typical 3-year-olds also start being able to understand:
Simple problem-solving (such as how to get an object that’s out of reach)
Simple cause-and-effect concepts, such as “If I throw it, it might break,” or “If I follow directions, I can keep playing”
Time concepts, such as “later,” “in a little bit,” or “soon”
How to sort objects by category (color, shape, or object type)
Basic numbers and simple counting
3-year-old social and play milestones
At 3, kids are starting to interact more during play. They’re likely to tolerate taking turns with others (with guidance from a caregiver.) They also start showing affection toward others and may act concerned if they see a friend who’s upset.
Three-year-olds have a lot of feelings, and at this age they can begin labeling them better. As they play with friends, understanding their feelings will have a big role in their social interactions. Keep in mind, emotional dysregulation and “big feelings” are still very common. However, times of dysregulation while playing with others are hopefully starting to shorten and become a little less frequent.
When playing together, 3-year-old kids will often take turns during pretend play. So maybe one child is the doctor while the other pretends to be a patient, and then they switch. They’re also likely to play games with simple rules, such as tag or matching memory games.
Toys can do more than entertain. Discover the best toys for 3-year-olds that support speech, language, and play-based learning at home.
3-year-old self-care milestones
Self-care is a big part of growing up. Being able to take care of themselves gives kids a sense of confidence and independence. Three-year-olds can typically:
Feed themself with a fork and spoon on their own
Drink from an open cup without too much spilling
Help you when you’re dressing or undressing them
Be working toward being toilet trained during the day
Wash and dry their hands with help
Begin brushing their teeth with help
Try to put on their shoes
Activities of daily living (ADLs) are key self-care skills. Learn when kids develop them, common delays, and how occupational therapy helps.
What if your child isn’t meeting developmental milestones?
If you’re noticing that your child is missing some of these milestones, talk with your pediatrician or an occupational therapist. If your child needs OT, getting them started sooner rather than later is the best thing you can do!
Here at Expressable, we provide personalized, virtual occupational therapy designed to fit your child’s needs. Reach out to us to schedule an OT evaluation and get your questions answered.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
Three-year-olds are constantly learning new things. When it comes to cognitive milestones, 3-year-olds are starting to understand time concepts and improve their problem-solving skills. They typically know how to sort objects by category (color, shape, or object type), and they know basic numbers and simple counting.
Three-year-olds should be able to feed themselves with utensils mostly on their own. They can drink from an open cup easily, try to put on shoes, and are learning to wash their hands and brush their teeth. They may not be able to perform all self-care tasks independently, and that’s OK! The important thing is that they are showing increasing independence with new self-care skills.
By age 3, most kids can use between 300 and 500 words. This age is when you’re likely to see a huge jump in their conversational and language abilities. They go from speaking more like a toddler to using longer sentences and bigger words. Here’s more information about 3-year-old language skills and signs of a possible speech delay.
Sensory activities are great for 3-year-olds. You can encourage them to play with shaving cream on a tray, or try finger painting to draw shapes and letters. You can also let them play with sensory bins filled with dry rice, beans, or pasta. Give them cups or small toys to scoop and play with the items in the bin. Many 3-year-olds love these activities!
How Expressable Can Help
Concerned your child isn't reaching age-expected milestones? Looking for communication support from a professional? Expressable is a national online speech and occupational therapy practice serving children and adults. We treat all major areas of communication, feeding, and developmental skills, offer flexible hours including evenings and weekends, and accept most major health insurance plans. We’re proud to have earned more than 4,500 5-star reviews from our clients (4.83/5 average).
Our therapy model is centered on parent and caregiver involvement. Research proves that empowering caregivers to participate in their loved one’s therapy leads to better outcomes. That’s why we combine live, 1-on-1 speech and occupational therapy with personalized education and home practice activities for faster progress.
