Parent Phone Use Can Affect Kids’ Development
Abby Barnes, M.S., CCC-SLP
Parent phone use around babies and toddlers can affect a child’s development—especially their language and communication skills. Researchers call this pattern "technoference," but you don’t need to completely quit your phone. The key is to make sure you spend phone-free time with your child every day.
How does parent phone use affect child development? When a caregiver is absorbed in a phone when they’re with a young child, they talk to the child less, respond more slowly, and miss the eye contact that early language depends on. For example, a 2014 study at Boston University found that mothers who were on phones during mealtimes had about 20% fewer verbal and 39% fewer nonverbal exchanges with their kids. Making sure you have consistent phone-free times (like meals!) is the practical fix.
Key takeaways
"Technoference" is the term for the small interruptions that happen when parents use phones while also interacting with their children. These interruptions might be missed eye contact, delayed responses, or paused conversation.
The risk isn't so much using your phone in front of your child. It's phone use during the moments that build language skills: mealtimes, floor play, storytime, bathtime, and bedtime.
You don't have to quit your phone. Make certain times of day device-free, such as meals, the first hour home after daycare or work, and the bedtime routine.
If you're worried your child's speech is behind, phone habits are one factor to look at, but a speech evaluation is the right next step.
Curious or concerned?
Our free screener is tailored by age and covers all areas of speech, language, and feeding. Find out if your child might need speech therapy.
Screener for childrenHow does parent screen time affect children?
Parent screen time affects children in three main ways:
First, kids notice the divided attention and often describe feeling "sad" when a parent is on a phone.
Second, parents themselves report being less responsive to their child's cues while scrolling.
Third, the missed back-and-forth interactions add up. That can slow language growth in babies and toddlers, whose brains are wired to learn from face-to-face exchange.
First of all, kids do notice when we’re on our phones. In research studies, children often use words like “sad” and “lonely” to describe how they feel when their parents are distracted by their phone. Studies with teens reveal that many feel their parents are “addicted” to phone use, and they wish their parents would spend less time on devices.
Parents say they tend to be less responsive or have poorer reactions to their child’s needs when they’re distracted by a screen.
Parents and caregivers themselves report feeling more distracted and less connected with their children when they’re using a phone. They say they tend to be less responsive or have poorer reactions to their child’s emotional needs when they’re distracted by screen time.
So if both children and caregivers are associating negative feelings with frequent phone use, why do we continue to turn to our screens?
The research offers some reasons, such as responding to texts or emails, checking the news, wanting to escape, or simply feeling bored. But what’s meant to be a quick check-in can easily stretch into a half-hour or more of screen time.
How parent phone use affects kids’ communication development
Research has found that parent phone distraction can negatively impact a child's communication development. Babies are born with billions of neurons in their brain. As they begin to have positive interactions with their caregivers—such as being held when they cry, or making eye contact—their neurons begin to make connections that help support speech and language development. That process is affected if a parent is less responsive to their child.
In one study conducted at Boston University School of Medicine, researchers looked at mothers' verbal interactions with their children during mealtime when phones were used versus not used. When a mother was using a phone, she had 20 percent less communication with her child and 39 percent fewer nonverbal interactions, such as eye contact. Another study outlined how interference from smartphones—also called “technoference”—can disrupt processes critical to learning language. When a parent gazes at their phone rather than their baby during interactions, it reduces the chance for eye contact and joint attention. Joint attention is what happens when two people are interested in the same object or task, and they both know that the other is interested in it. This is a crucial skill for babies to learn in their communication development.
In another study of 3- to-5-year-olds, parents asked their child fewer questions when using a phone than when remaining undistracted. Children were also less likely to ask their parent questions while their parent was looking at a screen.
“Over time, all of these missed interactions add up. They can have a negative effect on our emotional connection with our children, as well as on our kiddos' communication development,” says Alexis Irazoque, M.S., L/SLP, a speech therapist with Expressable. “Communication is what connects us to others, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that these two areas of development are so closely related!”
What is "technoference" and why should parents care?
"Technoference" is a term coined by researchers to describe the small, everyday interruptions that mobile devices create in close relationships. That includes parent-child interactions—the paused conversation to check a text, the delayed response when your child tries to get your attention, the dinnertime spent half-scrolling. Each single interruption is small. But the pattern, repeated often in the years when a child is learning to talk and communicate, adds up.
Follow-up studies have linked higher parent technoference to more child behavior problems, weaker parent-child connection, and fewer back-and-forth conversational “turns” that help a child learn to communicate.
The fix isn’t necessarily to use your phone less overall. It’s to avoid phone use during the moments your child's language depends on. This article explains how and when to do just that.
The importance of caregiver involvement in speech and language development
“As a speech therapist, if I could tell caregivers just one thing, it would be how vital they are in helping their child grow in their communication abilities,” Irazoque says. “Children learn best from the people they love the most and spend the most time with. They thrive when they receive the one-on-one attention they crave.”
The research bears this out. Studies have shown that babies who are talked to throughout the day have stronger verbal abilities as they get older. Communication skills start early! It can be tempting to turn to your phone when your baby can’t talk yet, but even if they can’t answer you, talking and engaging with them benefits their development.
Let’s review some of the skills that communication at home can help build, starting from the early days of infancy. Talking with your child improves:
Nonverbal interactions, like eye contact
Their understanding of tones of voice and facial expressions
Back and forth interactions
Play development, which is linked to communication growth
Their ability to form phrases and sentences
Their understanding of new vocabulary words
Turn-taking in conversation
Their ability to communicate wants and needs
Based on recent research, learn 4 simple but powerful ways you can interact with your child to grow their speech and language skills.
As children get older, they also need to navigate the social aspects of communication. These are things like:
How to introduce themselves
How to begin a conversation with someone
How to solve problems with another person
Appropriate nonverbal body language in conversation
No matter a child’s age, they’re constantly growing their speech and language abilities. They’ll learn some of these interactions with peers at school, but the foundation starts at home, with you! So making the most of your time with your child is crucial.
“No matter a child's age, they're constantly growing their speech and language abilities,” Irazoque points out. “They'll learn some of these interactions with peers at school, but the foundation starts at home, with you! So making the most of your time with your child is crucial.”
Can too much TV cause delays with speech and language? Learn how watching TV can affect your child’s language development.
3 times of day to avoid using your phone with your child
You don't have to be device-free all day. But try to avoid using your phone during these three natural moments for back-and-forth interaction. These are times when being present with your child can help the most with their language development.
1 Meals and snacks
Mealtime is the most-studied technoference moment. It's also where phone use has the biggest measured effect on parent-child talk. Keep phones off the table for every meal or snack your child is present for. This “device-free window” of time often adds 15 to 30 minutes of face-to-face talk per day.
Family meals are a chance to connect and communicate. Get 5 easy tips to practice speech and language at mealtime with kids of all ages.
2 The first hour home
When you walk in the door from work, or after daycare or preschool pickup, it’s normal to feel tired—and maybe tempted to "catch up" on the phone. It's also when your child most wants your reconnection. Protect the first 60 minutes. Change clothes, get a snack together, and get on the floor to play. Playing together is a major opportunity for speech and language growth, whether you’re taking care of dolls, playing pretend restaurant, or simply talking to your child about the toy they’re playing with.
3 The bedtime routine
Bath, pajamas, teeth, books, songs, snuggle. The bedtime routine is a language goldmine! It's reliable face-to-face time, and it repeats every night for years. Put the phone in another room before the bedtime routine starts.
"When parents come in worried about their child's speech, one of the first things we look at together is how much face-to-face conversation is happening in a normal day,” Irazoque says. “It's not about tracking screen time down to the minute. It's about protecting the times of day when your child is most ready to talk with you. Meals, storytime, bath, bedtime—that's where language grows."
Other ways parents can cut back on screen time
It's not easy to dial back on smartphone use. And of course, you're still going to use your phone in front of your child, and that's OK. But spending less time distracted will benefit both you and your little one. Here are some other ways to start changing your phone habits:
1 Turn your phone off
Choose times in the day when you turn your phone completely off and put it away. During this time, be intentional about playing or talking with your child. Maybe you’ll do this when you take your child to the playground, or when you’re in a doctor’s office waiting room together. Give them your undivided attention!
2 Turn off unneeded notifications
When our phones are constantly buzzing, it’s hard to ignore them. Take some time to go through your phone and turn off any app notifications that aren’t necessary. You can always go back and check notifications when you’re not with your child.
3 Be aware of your screen time usage
There are apps that tell you how much time you spend on your phone and which apps you use most. This can provide some insight into which apps you may want to delete or set specific times in the day to check.
4 Rearrange your apps
Move the most distracting ones so they aren’t on the first page of your home screen. You’ll be less likely to click these apps if you don’t see them as soon as you open your phone. Similarly, consider removing certain apps from your home screen altogether. You can keep them on your phone–just make them harder to access.
5 Explain your phone use to your child
If you’re with your child and pause to use your phone, explain why you’re doing so, whether you’re responding to a time-sensitive text, checking a map, or sending a photo to Grandma.
It would be impossible—and unnecessary—to never use a phone around your child. The goal is to protect the times of day that matter. If you're also wondering about your child's own screen exposure (TV, tablets, kid apps), that's a separate but related question. We cover it in our full guide to screen time and speech delay.
Concerned about your child’s speech?
You can take our free online screener to find out if your child’s speech is on track. You’ll get results in minutes, letting you know if an evaluation is recommended. If you’re concerned, don’t hesitate to ask for help! Early intervention can make a big difference. Talk to your pediatrician, or contact Expressable to get matched with a speech therapist.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
When a parent is absorbed in a phone, they talk to their child less, respond more slowly to the child’s questions, and make less eye contact. These are all interactions that help young kids learn to communicate. The effect builds up over time, not in one moment. But the pattern over months and years shapes how a child’s language skills develop.
There is no concrete number of minutes or hours. What matters is whether you’re on your phone during moments where language grows: mealtimes, book reading, floor play, bath, and bedtime. If you’re using your phone during these times, it can affect how much you talk and respond to your child, which can harm their language growth. Start by putting the phone away during meals, playtime, and the bedtime routine.
Yes, you don’t need to quit your phone to protect your child's development. Babies and toddlers are wired to learn language from patterns over time, not from any one interaction. If you spend five minutes replying to a text and then get on the floor and play, your baby is fine. What to avoid is the pattern—being on the phone through the whole meal, the whole book, or the whole play session, and doing that often. Save the phone for other times, and give your child your full focus when it matters.
How Expressable Can Help
Concerned your child isn't reaching age-expected milestones? Looking for communication support from a professional? Expressable is a national online speech and occupational therapy practice serving children and adults. We treat all major areas of communication, feeding, and developmental skills, offer flexible hours including evenings and weekends, and accept most major health insurance plans. We’re proud to have earned more than 4,500 5-star reviews from our clients (4.83/5 average).
Our therapy model is centered on parent and caregiver involvement. Research proves that empowering caregivers to participate in their loved one’s therapy leads to better outcomes. That’s why we combine live, 1-on-1 speech and occupational therapy with personalized education and home practice activities for faster progress.
